Unburdening
By David Dicken April 2026
I shared with the students at Rockside Ranch during a group session. “You can’t erase your past—not even God can do that; but the gospel promises that you can be free from its hold.” One of the students immediately said, “That's unburdening!” I paused and took that all in. Then I said, “Wow, that’s powerful.” Life’s negative experiences are real, and people whose lives have been marked by abuse, neglect, and abandonment—often shaped by unstable or destructive environments, including homelessness or shelter living—far too often come to feel like a burden. Could this be Satan’s greatest lie? Think about it—what is the behavior of people who feel like a burden? They tend to be withdrawn and often isolate. This is a big problem because the isolation fuels the feelings of “I’m a burden” or “I’m the problem.”
What does it mean to feel like a burden?
Feeling like a burden is a painful, often inaccurate emotional state where a person believes they are a source of inconvenience, stress, or trouble to loved ones, creating intense guilt, shame, and a sense of being "too much." This can lead to withdrawal, isolation, and potential mental health challenges. Often, they decline help with thoughts like "I'll figure it out on my own" or "I don't want to take their time away from more important things." This can leave the person feeling like an inconvenience and believing their presence or needs disrupt others. They may see themselves as a liability, feeling like a source of trouble or cost, or as troublesome and a nuisance, believing their needs make them a problem. They may also view themselves as draining, feeling their emotional needs exhaust others, or as worthless and shameful, believing they do not deserve support.
Jesus was motivated by compassion
We see the heart of Jesus in Luke 19:41. The First Nations Version beautifully describes this scene:
“As he rode forward, he could see the Sacred Village of Peace (Jerusalem), and tears began to run down his face. He could taste the salt from his tears as he opened his mouth in anguish.”
Jesus speaks directly to those who feel weighed down—not with criticism, but with an open invitation to rest. In Matthew 11:28–29, He calls the weary and burdened to come to Him, offering not just relief, but a deeper restoration of the soul. This rest isn’t about escaping life’s challenges or downplaying our past—it’s about exchanging the heavy weight we carry for His gentle guidance.
Part of stepping into that rest often begins with vulnerability. Jesus Himself modeled a life of openness, humility, and emotional honesty, showing that true strength is not found in shutting down, but in drawing near. The life of Christ offers a model for how to connect with those who feel like an outcast. Vulnerability becomes a turning point—the slow rise of a dimmer switch—allowing light, connection, and healing to enter.
As we lean into that openness, especially within community, we begin to experience the kind of rest Jesus promises: one that is shared, supported, and deeply renewing. This reflects the very heart of Jesus.
Jesus was vulnerable and relatable in our suffering, being tempted in every way that we are. He was also a high priest representing the people to God. During His trial, He was mocked, whipped, and laughed at, suffering alone—they even gambled for His garments—yet He endured it all without sin, so that we could approach God with confidence.
The writer of Hebrews describes Jesus as empathetic and highlights that he deals with us gently.
Heb 4:15 NIV
“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are — yet he did not sin”
Heb 5:2 NIV
“He is able to deal gently with those who are ignorant and are going astray, since he himself is subject to weakness.”
Could it be that Jesus describes Himself as dealing with us gently so that we develop a picture in our minds of Him coming toward us with open arms—and when He reaches us, He puts His arm around us and begins by just listening?
If you’re suffering or feeling like a burden, be encouraged to accept God’s invitation and find rest in Jesus. He promises to be gentle. That is something we can all model. Gentleness bears much fruit and can change someone’s life.
The disciples deserted Jesus during His trial, but after the resurrection, they banded together. In the book of Acts, we see the strength and necessity of community.
The Role of Community
The chapter on Community in the Relational section of the Thrive course explains that “Community involves reciprocal giving and receiving. Difficulties with our mental health make it easy to feel like ‘the sick one’ in some settings. It’s important to find a community where we can build reciprocal friendships because they help to better our whole-health, lessen our distress, and increase our overall satisfaction.”
“The sick one” is part of the feelings behind the self-perception, “I’m a burden.” Do you have a loved one or a friend who isolates and appears withdrawn from social or family events? Perhaps you have felt like “the sick one” from things in your past, or maybe your current situation is producing the feelings of “I’m a burden.” In a counseling session, I asked a mom of three young children if she felt like a burden, and without even saying a word, she started crying. Notice the power of these deep-seated feelings.
For many who perceive their living situation as inferior compared to others in their community, it’s easy to feel different. Sometimes there’s even a narrative like we see with Job’s friends, who said, “He must have done something!” I’ve even heard people say that the victim or survivor lacked faith. But what does God actually say about this? In Job 42:7, God responds to Eliphaz,
“I am angry with you and your two friends, because you have not spoken the truth about me, as my servant Job has.”
Let’s read how James expresses the Lord's compassion in James 5:11: “We count those blessed who endured. You have heard of the endurance of Job and have seen the outcome of the Lord’s dealings, that the Lord is full of compassion and is merciful” (NASB2020). The First Nations Version adds this: “The Great Spirit will do the same for you.”
Maybe in your darkest moments, when you felt abandoned, neglected, and even betrayed, God was there. You deserve to have a healthy narrative. You deserve better. Jesus came to give us hope and a positive outlook on life and our future. For the Apostle Paul, being ‘in Christ’ is central to how he motivates Christ-followers. You are valuable and you deserve to be accepted and treated as an equal member and participant in society and the body of Christ.
If you're struggling with the feelings of “I’m a burden,” find a support group and get plugged into a life-giving community. Community “in Christ” comforts and strengthens. With Jesus leading us, we are all united toward one of the greatest purposes of the Church: to build each other up in love. A healthy faith community is a place where we give and receive comfort and support, provide compassion and empathy, grow in wisdom together, pray for one another, help meet each other’s needs, offer mutual encouragement, and more.
We grow stronger and more resilient in community. Active community participation is the common denominator found in those with resilient strength. We are all designed to be in relationship, and research shows that we have a natural motivation to break the feeling of isolation by redirecting, restoring, and rebuilding meaningful relationships.
Community is about High-Quality Connection; which means having meaningful and reciprocal friendships in various areas of your life—whether at church, work (even with a supervisor), school, or other areas. These types of relationships literally and figuratively enliven people. Enliven means to make something more lively, interesting, or energetic.
Challenges don’t limit purpose; they inspire it. It’s common to feel that our mental health challenges or conditions will limit our value and purpose. However, experiencing and navigating these challenges may provide greater insight and profound wisdom for many life factors, even spiritually. For example, for most of her life, Mother Teresa suffered from challenging depression. Most likely, what she learned through the experience reaffirmed her value for her life in Christ, her love for others, and her inspirational work. With God, no condition is a limitation. Because we are lovingly “made in His image,” we are entirely loved and given value and purpose in Him.
Gifted for a Purpose
God has gifted you to be involved. In 1 Corinthians 12, Romans 12, and Ephesians 4, the Apostle Paul encourages the churches that God provides various gifts to work together for the common good, the Church, and the world. These unique spiritual gifts will align and work with your core skills and talents.
Moving away from feeling like a burden
Start with affirmations or healthy thinking. When you recognize your inaccurate thoughts, take a couple of deep breaths with long exhales. Then, challenge the thoughts by recalling truthful affirmations. Recall God’s heart. Recall how God lovingly thinks and feels about you. Next, find and get involved with a healthy life-giving community. This will help reinforce that God is always with you and remind you of your true identity.
The Pearl
Notice two things: we’re invited to approach God’s grace-filled throne with confidence, and we’re not meant to do it alone. Grace is practical—it’s found in both God and community.
Replacing the Lie with the Truth That Heals
We’ve learned together that “I am a burden” is a lie. It’s contrary to God’s original design for us, and it loses its power when it is brought into the light of truth, grace, and community. You are not a problem to be managed—you are a person to be loved. Your story, with all its pain and complexity, does not disqualify you; it reveals both your need for connection and your capacity for purpose. As you lean into truth, surround yourself with life-giving relationships, and allow God’s voice to define your identity, the weight you’ve been carrying begins to lift. What once felt like a burden can become a testimony of healing, strength, and belonging. You are not alone, you are not forgotten, and you were never meant to carry this on your own.