UNDERSTANDING THE VALUE OF SELF-WORTH AND IT’S IMPORTANCE IN THE LIFE OF YOUNG ADULTS
Low self-worth is at the root of what many young people are carrying. You can't fix it for them, but you can walk alongside them. Here's where to start.
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Create a safe space
Replace judgmental listening with active listening. You're not there to correct or fix; you're listening to learn.
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Ask how they feel about themselves
Keep it simple and open. Their answer gives you a gauge of where they are between "worthless" and "valued and loved."
Can you tell me how you feel about yourself?
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Find where their self-worth is coming from
Often it's peers, grades, appearance, or fitting in. Gently point out the danger of getting worth from others' opinions, and toward their inherent value as a person.
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Let them choose the path
Some need to understand why they feel this way. Others just want to move forward. Follow their lead. If they want to explore the "why," ask about their past.
When did the pain start? · What happened? · How did you feel then, and now? · What would change look like?
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Focus on the root, not the behavior
Isolation, anger, or refusing to get a job are symptoms. Behavior comes from thoughts, and thoughts come from how past events were interpreted. Start there.
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Build them up
Remind them of past successes and things they already do well, however small. Confidence grows from self-worth, not the other way around.
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Do life together
Coffee, a hike, the gym, a creative project. Ask what they enjoy and what they dream about. Creativity and goals redirect the mind from stressors to what's good in them.
What do you enjoy doing? · What are your dreams and goals?
Trauma doesn't define your loved one, and it's not where their self-worth comes from. You're helping rewrite the story to say "I am valued and loved." You got this.